Talking to Your Daughter About Modesty


Modesty. For some parents, it’s an ongoing battle that occurs every morning before school. For others, it’s a beast that only rears its ugly head during special event dress shopping. So how do we really instill values of modesty in our girls?

The reality is, the virtue of modesty is a difficult subject to broach with girls because they aren’t willing to throw away their freedom of personal style! While fashion trends come and go, the value of self-respect is a constant. Teach your daughter to wear what makes her feel the way God sees her—truly beautiful and valuable.

Create a list of agreed-upon guidelines together that can put any clothing item to the test. That means no store is off-limits, but there is an expectation of modesty behind every purchase! Things like length, neckline, sheerness, and fit are great places to start.

Listen to the Raising Godly Girls Minute with Patti Garibay:


5 responses to “Talking to Your Daughter About Modesty

  1. I have a 5 year old daughter who is starting to understand fashion she wants to dress herself not in the way that I think she should
    at her young age. I think she looks beautiful in her pink or yellow dresses. Now she loves to wear jeans and shorts with tennis shoes. I miss her little cute days. But I do want her to grow up a ssf trong woman that is able to make decisions for herself. It is hard trying to find the balance. Help!

  2. I have 3 girls. We talk about not seeing underwear when wearing skirts, shorts, dresses and child is built like a runner, while #2&3 both are more rounded. My oldest prefers pants now or shorts. We discuss colors and what looks good and is comfortable, as well as the purpose of those clothes – play, church, school, special occasions.

  3. Our house follows school dress code rules. If it doesn’t fit the school code, there is no point to having it in her closet. My daughter and I speak frankly about the image projected by what we wear. What is the impression she wants others to have of her?
    If God created her, how can she dress respectfully for Him. That certainly doesn’t mean she is dressed like a nun. Her hem lines are at least finer tip length and she picks out cute patterns or wears school/Navy logos, etc. We do sometimes need to catalog shop for these lengths. I also dress by example for my daughter.

  4. I have a 13-year daughter, She hit a growth spurt and along with hormones she has stretch marks and is very self conscious of them. I try to explain to her that they will fade in time. It is so sad the girls have them at such an early age. Then you have the body image. Any suggestions?

  5. As a lady, I’m always changing, adapting – my body, especially. Just as you said, her body will adapt to her new growth spurt, and in the mean time other things may be in the adjustment phase too (like balance, sport acuity). On the other side of it is more awesomeness, and we can teach our children to be curious and to love even the adjustment phase. She has a lot on her mind and her heart and that’s what counts!

    As she spends more time with the Lord each day, hopefully she will love His truths for her, more and more: She is beloved by Him. He prefers mercy to give and forgiveness for us to receive. Her worth does not come from herself but from Him. Others’ messages, and even the ones we send ourselves melt and slide off in His enduring warmth and light.

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About the Author

American Heritage Girls

American Heritage Girls is the premier national character development organization for young women that embraces Christian values and encourages family involvement. AHG is dedicated to the mission of building women of integrity through service to God, family, community, and country.